You will understand, when you have kids.

[[You are Charlie, 28 years old.]]

[[When you were a small girl, you had a dog named Gandalf.]] [[When you were a small boy, you had a cat named Gryffindor.]]

Your parents were proud when you moved to the next big city for your studies. [[You tried to come home often, but you didn't have much chance.]]

Your hairy companion went more and more outside, until he never came back. [[But you had other things in mind. You met someone.]]

[[You planned to spend the Easter holidays watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy in one go.]] [[You planned to spend the summer holidays in Japan.]]

The heat. The lights. The matsuri. Being together. [[It was great.]] (set: $Japan to "1") <style>img{ max-width:100%; max-height : 100%; } </style> <img src= https://www.dropbox.com/s/oi3auq2psk1l8tk/Photo_japon1.jpg?dl=1 </div>

One sunday morning, drinking coffee and laughing, you realise that [[you love Alex.]]

At some point during your second year, you decided to stop paying for a flat you were never in. [[You moved in together.]]

Alex often came back late in the evening and looked happy. You felt sad and you were angry at yourself for it. [[You didn't say anything, though.]] [[You suggested that you could spend more time together.]] [[You blamed Alex for being away all the time.]]

At the university, Alex was doing well, inspiring teachers, good marks and interesting friends. [[You, not so much.]]

[[You remember this as one of the worst evening of your life.]]

Alex looked at you and blinked. You tried to explain. Alex cried. [[You remember this as one of the worst evening of your life.]]

[[You remember this as one of the worst evening of your life.]]

But the next day was better. When you pushed the door, a surprise was waiting for [[you]]. <audio src="http://freesound.org/data/previews/110/110011_1537422-lq.mp3" autoplay> (click-replace: "surprise")[cat]

[[You grew up in a small town.]] (set: $girl to "1")

[[You grew up in a small town.]] (set: $boy to "1")

At the beginning of your holidays, you felt relieved. There were the first in a long time and it was just the two of you. But the rain on the beach would not stop. And you began to feel a big strange. Alex annoyed you. [[You felt lost.]] <audio src="http://freesound.org/data/previews/435/435753_8911546-lq.mp3" autoplay loop>

(if: $girl is "1")[ In you, you felt something wasn't as usual. You went to the drugstore and locked yourself in the bathroom. Blue. Pregnant. [[Fuck.]]] (if: $boy is "1")[ Alex was very tired and moody. One afternoon, she locked herself in the bathroom. You tried to talk to her, but she refused to listen. [[You broke the door down.]] [[You waited until she was asleep that night before examining the bathroom.]] [[In the evening, you cooked her a great meal and offered her a massage.]] ]

On the evening, you told Alex, but everything happened in a dream state. [[You were not ready.]]

You found her with [[a pregnancy test]] in her hand.

You found [[a pregnancy test]] in the plastic bin.

Just before desert, she collapsed into tears. "I'm pregnant." You had no clue. [[You were not ready.]]

[[You were not ready.]]

You talked about it. A lot. Rain poured down outside, and you spent the rest of your holidays inside. Together. Both of you cried and tried to be comforting in turns. At the end of the week, you decided it was not a good time. [[Neither for Alex or for you.]]

But it brought you [[together]].

You smiled. (if: $girl is "1")[It was not Gandalf, but you felt your heart skip a beat.] (if: $boy is "1")[It was not Gryffindor, but you felt your heart skip a beat.] You felt better after that. Alex spent a lot of time with you and introduced you to her friends. [[At the university, you sticked to the plan and beat the odds.]] [[You found another career path that was better for you.]]

You were also afraid that it would never be the same with Alex, that you would grow [[apart]].

One Friday night, you came back home exhausted. Bach was playing in the background. But you lightened up seeing all the candles Alex managed to stack up in your tiny flat. (if: $girl is "1")[He asked you to marry him.] (if: $boy is "1")[She asked you to marry her.] You said [[yes.]] <iframe width="0" height="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mGQLXRTl3Z0?autoplay=1&loop=1?&start=10" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

And in one blink, you found yourself on the day of your wedding. In the silence before your vows. You decided the day before to be funny, but at this precise moment, you had a doubt... (if: $Ring is "1")[ [["You remember the days when we spent watching The Lord of Rings that first year..."]] ] [["You remember those rainy holidays near the beach... We got through that."]] (if: $Japan is "1")[ [["You remember this small festival in Japan..."]] ]

"...that was the moment I decided to spend my life with you." "[[I love you.]]"

The evening went well. The DJ was ok. Your parents were relatively nice to each other. None of your friends passed out. Alex was happy. And you [[too.]]

In the morning, things got a bit weird when your aunt, as she was leaving, whispered : "You'll tell me first, dear, when you will be pregnant, won't you ?" [[You nodded politely.]] [[You stayed silent and waited for your aunt to leave.]] [[You desperately looked at Alex.]]

And the moment passed. The wedding was over and your busy lives resumed. You had a little more money than before and decided to [[move out]] of the tiny flat you lived in since college.

It was a fun week-end. Terry and Patt helped. You had bought a lot of beers as a reward, but none were opened. The couple was pregnant. "We decided to stop drinking together. It's easier that way, you'll see." [[You stared at the box in front of you.]]

The next months were difficult. Alex was often away : "My mother is ill, you understand. I have no choice." Even the cat went missing one night of November. You later learned that she found a better home in a house next door, where a family with two kids lived. [[You felt alone in the two-bedroom appartment.]]

In the spring, things got better. Alex's mother went in a nursing home and Alex could breathe a little. You enjoyed Sundays because of the long walks in the sun [[you took together.]] (click-replace: "long walks")[streneous hiking]

You were eating your sandwich when Alex looked at the family coming down the path. "Do you think we will have children one day ?" [[You choked on your pickle.]]

The landscape this afternoon was blury. You talked and talked and [[talked.]]

It was the first time that you seriously discussed this subject. [[Children.]]

With relief, you both realised that you were in the same mind. [[Not right now.]] [[Maybe never.]]

The sex was [[fantastic]] that night.

[[You decided to challenge this in court.]] [[You decided not to loose time over it.]]

But it led to [[nothing]].

And [[nothing]] happened for a few months.

One day, on the supermarket, you met Terry and Patt and their baby girl. She was crying and the parents looked exhausted. You realised it had been a long time since the four of you went for a drink. When you asked them, they refused. [["You'll see, when you have a child."]]

[[You picked the last things you needed for the big meal for your parents and headed home.]] [[You gave up trying to locate things in the supermarket and headed home. Your parents would eat what would be in the fridge.]]

Your parents were late. You tried to calm Alex's nerves while waiting. They arrived with a bottle of sparkling apple juice. "We thought you had good news for us." [[You sighed.]] [[You looked at Alex's clenched jaw.]] [[You mumbled something while pointing towards the kitchen.]]

Your dad smiled. "Why are you angry ? It's not easy to follow you, sometimes..." [[You stayed silent.]] "You will understand when you have kids."

When they left, you felt tired and empty. *They are your parents. You love them. But sometimes, you wish they would know when to stay (link-reveal: "silent")[, a quality that your [[sister]] always had.]* Alex understood and said nothing when you poured yourself [[a glass of whisky]]

You scored a well-paid and challenging job while Alex continued studying for a while. Monday evenings, you went running together. Tuesdays and Thursday were nights on your own, doing your things. Every Wednesday at 6 p.m you met for a drink with Terry and Patt. At the end of the week, you had taken the habit to cook a nice meal at home. Because you were often away on the week-ends. [[Time flew by.]]

(if: $girl is "1")[The next week, you found online an advert for a job you'd be perfect for. The interview went well. Two days later, you had a phone call telling you that you were not suitable for the job, since the compagny couldn't afford a maternity leave in the following months. You came back home [[crying]]] (if: $boy is "1")[The next week, you found Alex crying on the doorstep. She explained you that she didn't get her dream job because people were afraid she would be pregnant soon. You couldn't help [[crying]] with her.]

(css: "color: #d82100;")[*You will see, when you have kids.*] A game by Hélène Sellier Made on Twine 2.0 [[New game]] (link: "Quit")[<script>window.close()</script>]

A few days after this evening with your parents, she phoned for the first time in years. You didn't even recognize her, at [[first.]]

"Charlie ?" "No, it's me. Emma." "Great. Great. Thank you." "I talked with mum yesterday." "She told me you felt kind of alone right now." She didn't hear you [[sigh.]]

"I was thinking... You could babysit Leo for me this week-end." "It's a win-win, right ?" "Well, see you Saturday at nine !" She didn't let you [[refuse]] before [[hanging up.]]

You would have done it anyway. She's your sister. [[*Right ?*->hanging up.]]

Alex was a bit upset. She thought you could have done some shopping together, on Saturday. Apart from that, the day did not go too badly. The morning was (link-reveal: "exhausting.")[. Leo was fast and cried a lot.] But you had a short nap break in the afternoon. You felt relieved when Emma [[came back.->a glass of whisky]]

It was the day of your fifth anniversary that you first talked about [[your big project.]] (click-replace: "You remember it well.")[The noise of the pub. The taste of the wine. Alex's shining smile.]

[["One day, we will live in Canada."]]

You spent a lot of time : - looking for a job opportunity, - applying for visas, - comparing lifestyles, - reading forums [[You were both very excited.]]

At the same time, you planned a big party. This year, Alex turned 25. Friends from high school were invited. Distant family members drove down to the place you rented. Former collegues came with their plus-one. There were [[a lot of people.]] You had to hire a babysitter.

Catherine was Alex's oldest friend. The first you talked about moving to Canada. "With all your family here ? That's crazy ! Your children would grow without their grand-fathers and grand-mothers !" You saw the disappointment in Alex's look. [[You didn't talk to the friend again that night.]]

In the next month, Canada became a distant dream when [[Alex was fired.]]

Almost all your family was very [[supportive.]]

[["It's the economy..."]]

[["It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong."]]

[["You will find a job in no time."]]

[["Now that you have time, you can start thinking about kids, right ?"]]

[["Have you considered lodging a complaint against your employer ?"]]

[["If you need anything, my deer, just ask."]]

You knew Alex felt alone [[during the days.]]

You suggested to visit Judith. She was at home all day (link-reveal: "at that time.") [ She was on [[maternity leave.]]]

Alex went. And came back [[sad.]] You asked what happened.

[["Charlie, you're 28, now."]]

[["Do you think we should have a child ?"->New game]]